On Drinks Quotes

• "One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts." -- Samuel Johnson
• "One reason why I don't drink is because I wish to know when I am having a good time." -- Nancy Astor
• "Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love." -- Turkish Proverb
• Coffee should be black as night, hot as hell, and strong as love." -- A saying from the American South
• "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." -- Ernest Hemingway
• "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink." -- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
• "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it." -- His reply
• "Tea with us became more than an idealization of the form of drinking; it is a religion of the art of life." -- Kakuzo Okakura, The Book of Tea
• "Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank." -- Alphonse Allais
• "Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure." -- Ambrose Bierce
• "Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking." -- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
• "Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony." -- Robert Benchley
• "The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid." -- Richard Braunstein
• "If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." -- Clement Freud
• "People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim." -- Ann Landers
• "Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." -- Babe Ruth
• "An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools." -- Ernest Hemingway
• "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." -- Paul Hornung
• "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." -- H.L. Mencken
• "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" -- George Bernard Shaw
• "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin
• "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." -- Dave Barry
• "BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C." -- W.C. Fields
• "Remember 'I' before 'E', except in Budweiser." -- Professor Irwin Corey
• "To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a 'support group.' Salvation in a can!" -- Leo Durocher
• "It takes only one drink to get me drunk.....the trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth." -- George Burns
• "Only Irish coffee provides in a single cup all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat." -- Alex Levine
• "A woman drove me to drink ... and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her." -- W.C. Fields
• "I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it." -- W.C. Fields
• One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm.
  "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine ! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." -- Cliff Clavin